Perfectly Imperfect
A Writer's Lament
My most recent manuscript went to beta readers yesterday and my initial euphoria for finishing another project soon disappeared beneath the crushing weight of self-doubt.
“The story sucks,” says my subconscious.
The more logical part of my mind says, “That’s okay. Any problems can be fixed.”
“What if I have to trash the whole thing and start over from scratch?”
I mentioned the last thought aloud to my oh-so-patient husband who understands just how I feel very because he’s also a writer. His response, “That’s a possibility.” Of course, he hasn’t yet read what I sent him so he can’t say for sure. I felt an odd sense of comfort in his comment because there’s nothing wrong with starting over. I’ve already finished more than one project and I’ve just proven that I can do it again. A messy first draft is necessary before a story or book can be sent out into the world.
Trashing a finished WIP is uncommon. The more likely scenario is that beta readers will provide insights that will improve the story. Once that’s done, the manuscript will go off to editors who have worked with a wide variety of authors of all skill levels. These professionals will provide more feedback based on their experience. The process will continue for several more rounds until everyone involved feels the story is perfectly imperfect enough to be shared with readers.
On release day, despite all this time and effort, I know I will first experience the thrill of sending my book out into the world before falling once more into the dark pit of despair.
“The story sucks,” my subconscious will say. “No one will give it a chance.”
This will be the case even if beta readers and editors have told me otherwise.
Typos are often missed even after numerous pairs of eyes read over a document. This isn’t just a self-publishing issue because even the big traditional houses don’t find every mistake either. Every book has problems of some kind. Even the most popular best-sellers.
Nothing is ever perfect.
Even a perfectly imperfect book can be enjoyable. I’ve read (and remembered) stories with serious grammatical issues and/or plot holes so big that someone could drive a semi truck through them because something resonated enough with me that I couldn’t help but finish them.
My hope is that someone, somewhere, someday will do the same for my work. That’s why I keep pushing past the sometimes crippling self-doubt to continue writing. We all should learn to embrace the perfectly imperfect.