The Misfits
Feeling Like an Outsider
My husband and I just rewatched the 1961 classic, The Misfits, starring Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe. The story revolves around Roslyn Taber (Monroe) who is divorcing her husband in Reno. Roslyn is befriended by the landlady of her boarding house, Isabelle Steers (portrayed by Thelma Ritter), who also ended her marriage in the Biggest Little City many years earlier. The main group of characters is rounded out by Guido Delinni (Eli Wallach), Gay Langland (Clark Gable), and Perce Howland (Montgomery Clift), all well-respected actors who were big names back in the day. Shot in black-and-white, the movie stands as a timeless testament to life in Nevada before the 1960s: Reno during the height of the “divorce ranch” era, casinos and gambling, cowboys, rodeos, wild horses, and the wide-open vistas outside the city limits. The gritty realism is only intensified by the fact that this ended up being the last big-screen appearance for both Gable and Monroe with both suffering various health issues during filming.
This movie really resonated with me. The fact that I’ve been a long-time Nevadan who’s familiar with the locations and history is a big part of that. I also feel a real kinship with the people portrayed. I’ve often considered myself a misfit. Someone who just doesn’t fit in with what’s considered normal. Many of my relatives, like most of my close cousins, were older so I didn’t always identify with other kids my age. Instead of keeping up with current trends, I steeped myself in the nostalgia of classic movies, fangirling over the stars of yesteryear, while reading things like Regency romance novels. I never felt I fit into the time and place in which I lived.
The one thing about I don’t relate to is the relationship difficulties faced by the characters in the movie. I’m fortunate to have found my soulmate, the love of my life, the first time around. We’ve been together more than forty years and counting. With him, I’ve always felt accepted. We’re both weird and awkward in similar ways. We share a lot of the same interests and faced many of the same childhood traumas. Being with my partner feels as normal and natural as breathing.
Yet I still feel like an outsider in some ways. Especially when it comes to the books I’m writing and publishing. Despite my best attempts to keep up with the times, I speak and write in the style of a bygone era. My characters sound more like the ones in The Misfits than those in K-Pop Demon Hunters. Some of my habits are so deeply ingrained that they’re now part of me. Learning to be okay with that is part of my journey because not fitting in isn’t the worst thing in the world. The older I get, the happier I feel with the person I’ve become.
Misfit or not.